id be glad to
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
