He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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