I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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