your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Drunk is a universal language darling
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