one might say we're banned from that church
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
nutella sex= disaster
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
