you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize