I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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