This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
