Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
