things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
