You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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