Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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