I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
