So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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