my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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