OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
