i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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