I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
