She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
