I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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