Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
