are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
