i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
