So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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