This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
