How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
