my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He has the fingertips of a God
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