he puts the penis in happiness.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
