I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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