Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
