big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
