My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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