69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
