i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
