Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
