that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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