You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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