Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize