Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
