I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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