Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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