Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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