Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
