Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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