You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize