He is such a slut. More and more my type.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
