True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
