wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
