Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's official drugs can't kill me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...