i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
