Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
