Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
