You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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