I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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