do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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