I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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