didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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