If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
