just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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