and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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