sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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