worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize