One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
