is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
