Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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