he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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